Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude i fell asleep inside of her

(1-248): View more from Michigan

thats awesome

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(606): View more from Kentucky

are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too

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(512): View more from Texas

So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

(214): View more from Texas

What? They have three kids?

(512): View more from Texas

Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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(818): View more from California

If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.

(323): View more from California

Sounds like a plan.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?

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(541): View more from Oregon

You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

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(619): View more from California

It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.

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(620): View more from Kansas

He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.

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(510): View more from California

I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.

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