I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
