She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
