We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
