You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
