I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
