Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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