final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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