Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
