Jerry, you need to find god
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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