i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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