she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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