can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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