batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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