I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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