omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
