but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
