Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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