Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
