Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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