I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
smell my finger.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
