there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
