can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
