Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
