Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
