the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
