The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
