I am puke
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
