he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
this hospital has no fireball
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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