I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
