I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
pop tarts are not kleenex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
