We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His nipple licking is glorious
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