Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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