One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
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This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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