You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
