no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
