It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Vodka?
Forever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
