So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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