so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
