honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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