so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
