I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
