Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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