im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
