her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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