I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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