Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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