can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
