you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They took my balls.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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