no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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