Do you still have your period?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
