so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
