I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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