You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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