haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
