For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
