I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
