i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
