Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize