The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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