How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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