Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
