Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
