Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
