So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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