Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Duck Duck Cougar?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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