Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
