After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We smell like vodka and hangover
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