Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
