Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
