O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
