i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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